Although I might post here occasionally with good books that I’m reading, I’ll be blogging over at my other blog, Stories from This Life, during my cancer treatment and surgery. I plan to return to blogging here after that has been finished.
Drinking my coffee alone, numbly staring at emails that demand attention.
A year of struggle, attempting to come back from what seemed utter defeat. Still–after so many months–an unimaginable distance. Deadened eyes and harsh words and separate joys.
I want change, desperately.
And then I read this from Jennifer Dukes Lee: “It’s time to do what Flannery O’Connor did: to stalk joy as if it can change things. Because it can.”
Is it possible?
Washing my coffee cup and placing it in the drainer, I grasp hold of the counter’s edge. Today I begin my search for happiness.
We walk along the street, looking at the world through the augmented reality of Ingress. Couples stroll by and then disappear into the darkening shadows.
The day had been a long one, with arguments and hasty words. An evening outing to attempt to salvage the day.
Caught up in the game, he walks ahead. I pause and watch a man pull a dried flower out of a trashcan.
“…remembered the peace of God that Pastor Earl spoke of. Peace that wasn’t contingent on the circumstances…from a place that the storms of life couldn’t reach.” —Mark Goodwin
How do we respond when the storms linger?
I join my husband in the game. The street is quiet as we walk together.
Days growing warmer, even with cold winds blasting across the plains. Chilled hands reaching for some comfort.
At home, too. Warmth. Releasing pride and choosing forgiveness.
“When we let God do the mending, broken things can become blessed things.” —Kaitlyn Bouchillon
Choosing to trust.
Not looking ahead or behind. The willingness to touch, encourage each other moment by moment.
A slow mending, made possible only by a love greater than ours.
Washing dishes in our new sink, thinking about so many things. There have been screaming and slamming doors, harsh words. Temptation to quit.
Me, escaping into my virtual life because sometimes real life can be so difficult.
“The brokenness in my life has sometimes made it difficult for me to believe I could ever be amazing.” —Holley Gerth
There, at the sink, I wonder what happened, why things seem so hard.
But there is God, and I can trust Him. He can make something beautiful out of all of this.